This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
