I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
