Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
