if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
How's work?
Spinning.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I AM VODKA MAN
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
