I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
