Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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