we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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