used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
