I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Drake has all the answers
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
