kristin has been a bad kristin
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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