im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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