end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
