you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize