The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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