youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
