Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel like abortions should bother me more
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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