Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
