I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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