Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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