No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
