If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I am naked and annoyed.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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