u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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