We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
