Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I faked an abortion last night.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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