He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
