well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize