and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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