i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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