Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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