I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We don't watch enough power rangers
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
