I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
