:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
