shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
