apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
