Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
