I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize