dude i'm inner monologue high
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize