How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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