Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
