I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i wish my penis had a tongue
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
