At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
