okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
