vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
