And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
