I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
