I just made out with a guy for $7.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
