This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize