Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
