"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
