Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
