She said her name was "party"
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
