Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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