Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My vagina just clenched in fear
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
