So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
