anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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