is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
