Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
