You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
