Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
