Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
