a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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