Where is the hickey?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
