My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
