can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
