Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
