i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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