somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
false alarm, still single
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize