I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
