cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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