office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
