I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My feet surprised me
Randomize
