4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
