If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
