You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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