She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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