It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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