I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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