A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
