My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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